Shaming Relationships: Projection Rejection & Spirit Defeat.

Those who protect themselves will oftentimes project their sin and shame problems onto you!

GOD'S POWER TO HEAL THE SHAMED BASED PERSONALITY TYPE

SHAME - A COMPLEX INVISIBLE EMOTION - "SEEING YOURSELF THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE'S EYES INSTEAD OF GOD'S IS SAD AND SORROWFUL".

By Synthia Esther

He grew up with a mother who constantly shamed him, and a father who was passive-aggressive, and could careless about the abuse or how he was raised. Having had so close a relationship with the complex, invisible emotion of shame, his maturity and personal strength levels were very low. The least of provocation would set him off and into a world filled with self-doubt, humiliation, guilt, confusion, embarrassment, inferiority, and regret. Feeling dishonored and improper, his mind was filled with negative, painful, anxiety. When confronted with any problem, he too used this same "shame based coping mechanism" his mother had deeply, embedded into his psyche.

Merriam Webster defines shame as, "a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety." When a person sees themselves through another person's eyes, their self-regulation is often irrational. Psychoanalysis is often sought in the treatment of a shame based personality type. Compassionate people are often sought out by these poorly modulated individuals who are living in the emotional dysregulation depths of shame.

Shame disconnects a person's ability to feel they are worthy of love and limits the intimacy God desires in our relationship with Him. The bondage of self perception cripples our faith. As Christians we are to take God at His word, which confirms His grace, mercy, and unconditional love, and the power to heal our broken hearts.

Isaiah 1:18,

1 John 1:9,

Psalm 103:12,

Titus 2:14,

Ephesians 1:7,

Romans 8:1,

Micah 7:19,

Psalm 103:2-4,

Philippians 3:13,

Hebrews 10:22,

2 Corinthians 2:5-7,

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Abuse is never justified. The lack of love and care growing up is a crime many have to deal with for the rest of their life. I recently met just such a female abuse victim, Ms. Joy, Whose mother even withheld food from her children! Instead spending all money and income solely on self-centered self!

Yet, Ms. Joy, fondly remembers she was blessed with food by way of a local church food bank, and with free school lunches.

While her life was not so great growing up, As an adult, Ms. Joy, who is a born again Christian, strives to be a person who gives, instead of takes, Her spirit is filled with a sincere and genuine care for others. In turn her life example confirms God's word in Psalm 34:18, that it is He who heals the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

One has to ponder and wonder, why some such wounded souls desire to grow past their sorrows and help others? While other abused souls grow more bitter, and avenge fully more harmful seemingly each and every day.

It is our outlook in life that shapes and molds our attitude, for better or for worst. With God, all things are possible, if we only believe...

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HOPE IN JESUS-THE AUTHOR & FINISHER OF OUR FAITH

God honors those who honor Him... - 1st Samuel 2:30.

JESUS CHRIST IS OUR HOPE AND GUIDE

By Synthia Esther

December 23, 2009

CNN, Larry King Live, December 22, 2009, aired the program topic, life after death titled, "Seeing The White Light." The panel of guests on the television show included New Age author and metaphysical seeker, Dr. Deepak Chopra, who made the comment during conversation, "Hope is a sign of despair." I agree with Henryk Sienkiewiez, "The greater the philosopher, the harder it is for him to answer the questions of the average man." I shook my head in disbelief, striving to comprehend a life without the hope of our heavenly Father's love. A life without the providence of God's mighty hand of grace and mercy. God's word states in Proverbs 13:12, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

THERE IS HOPE IN GOD'S PROVIDENCE

"...Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:30-31.

HOPE IS "A GIFT FROM GOD"

Walter was driving in the rain on a long distance winter trip when he decided to stop for lunch at a truck stop. Before going inside, he noticed a rather gruff looking middle aged man in tattered clothing, sitting hovered under the corner of the roof line of the restaurant, trying to avoid the rain. Walter said a silent prayer to God for him before going inside the busy restaurant. He then took a seat at the counter bar to eat, ordering a bowl of hot vegetable soup with a side of saltine crackers.

Lunch hit the spot in Walter's stomach on such a cold and rain soaked day. Before paying for his meal, Walter felt an urge within his heart, quickened by the Holy Spirit, to order another bowl of soup and crackers to go. He then asked the waitress to give it to the man outside, telling him, "This is a gift from God." The waitress smiled in agreement, commenting, "God is good, isn't He."

Continuing his trip, Walter drove into the late night hours. Struggling to keep his eyes on the road while remaining awake, became a rather grueling chore. His worn wind shield wipers didn't seem to be keeping up with the torrent of rain pouring down. Going around a curve, Walter lost control of his car, ending up in a ditch, unconscious. Within minutes a lone stranger driving by noticed the wreckage, and stopped to help. Unable to call 911 due to the lack of cell phone coverage on the patch of rural country road, the stranger helped Walter into his car and took him home.

Once they arrived, the stranger and his wife helped Walter. The man gave Walter a fresh change of clothing, and his wife warmed a hot bowl of vegetable soup. Sitting at their kitchen table, Walter also noted a small plate of chipped china covered with saltine crackers. Tears welled up in Walter's eyes as the Holy Spirit's still small voice whispered, "this is a gift from God." Not only had God arranged Walter's safety, health, and comfort. He once again had confirmed His love.

Taking a bite of saltine cracker, Walter smiled remembering the written word of God in Matthew 5:13-16, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is not longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

OUR HOPE IS IN JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD!

God's plan for His children is always filled with hope and a good future (Jeremiah 29:11). Being kind to others, shows the world an example of Christ's loving kindness. The word God is included within the word good. When good deeds are done, God's presence is ever near. Miracles happen when we place our hope in Jesus! Salvation in Christ is based on the glorious hope of all saints in the "resurrection of the dead," and eternal life (Acts 23:6; 26:6-8; 26:22-23; 28:20).

Christ Jesus is our hope (1st Timothy 1:1; Ephesians 1:11). "I keep asking the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the "hope" to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe," (Ephesians 1:17-18).