Addiction is an escalating, often uncontrollable need and desire,
By Synthia Esther
Addiction is an escalating, often uncontrollable need and desire, which when acted upon, causes a nero-biological long lasting chemical change within the brain. You make excuses for your destructive and irrational mood swings and behavior, because you don't want to give up your addictions, nor the coping mechanisms they provide. You remain in denial concerning your addictions and the problems they create. You like what the sexual lust demons do for you, so you desire to keep them.
You will continue to do so until your behavior causes you to bottom out, and come to your wits end. To continue in your destructive habits is to ensure your untimely demise spiritually, emotionally, and physically. You most likely feel unworthy of love, which is central to the addictive cycle of pain, shame, and remorse.
Many people may ask, "How can sex become an addiction without drug involvement?" Sex is like a drug, in that it releases naturally occurring peptides such as endorphins, which correspond with the electrochemical interactions in the brain (see article at: www.sexhisway.com - "Erectile Dysfunction - and the Dopamine Connection" - by Synthia Esther).
Dr. Patrick Carnes writes in his book, Don't Call It Love - Recovery From Sexual Addiction, "These peptides parallel the molecular construction of opiates like morphine, but they are many times more powerful. We know that when experimental rats are habituated to morphine or heroin, they will go through much pain in order to obtain more. However, when the pleasure centers of the brain are stimulated, releasing endorphins, rats will go through even more suffering than they will for morphine or heroin."
Sex addict's have grandiosity at their heart's core. Listen to what the word of God declares about such self-seeking, self-serving, bias behavior..."And you felt secure in your wickedness and said, 'No one sees me,' Your wisdom and your knowledge, they have deluded you; For you have said in your heart, 'I am, and there is no one besides me.' But evil will come on you Which you will not know how to charm away; And disaster will fall on you For which you cannot atone, And destruction about which you do not know Will come on you suddenly." - Isaiah 47:10-11.
"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." - Proverbs 28:13.
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person - such a man is an idolater-has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." - Ephesians 5:3-5,
Addiction holds the user captive. Jesus Christ came to set the captive free - www.sexhisway.com .
SATAN, AND HIS LURE
Scripture reveals Lucifer (Satan, the Devil), and his nature, and mission of deception. He transforms himself into an "angel of light" (2 Corinthians 11:14). So true with the mock up of porn stars, models who are air brushed to perfection with computer enhanced images. Perfect hair. Perfect body. Perfect smile and teeth. Perfect legs, breasts, and feet with just the right fetish arch! Angels of fantasy and delight. If you were to meet these "fake" beauty's and/or he-men in real life, most often they could not, and would not, live up to your expectations.
Yet in the world of fantasy, and sexual orgasmic dreams come true, you fill fulfilled, content, beyond your wildest imagination. Why is that? You have traded the truth for a lie, in one of Satan's master, deception plans. Sex is good, when sex is deviant! Sex is good, when sex is as wild as fifty shades of grey. Sex is good when it is illicit! Yet after your grand climax, you are left limp, dull, and void! That is until the next time you seek to indulge in the fantasy trap of sexual intoxication. Such is the trap of the greatest fantasy sex on earth!
I met a fellow, single Christian male, who just happened to have viewed my photos online. A certain flaw caught his attention in one of my photos (since removed), something simple, like a broken finger nail, and chipped polish, and he told me so. It seemed to bother him. Strange behavior for a Christian, I thought. The more I got to know this man, the more I realized (it did not take long), that his actions were not that of a sincere believer.
He indeed was a fantasy sex addict who viewed women as objects. While talking with him by phone, he began to speak in broken sentences, every strange in tone and inflection, and his breathing patterns changed. I suddenly thought intuitively, "He is masturbating while talking to me on the phone".
I confronted him, and he admitted that he was indeed masturbating, and viewing my online photos, while we were talking. His phone sex was a sin betrayal, and I told him so! I distanced myself completely from this man. He is what I call, "A Spiritual Poser!" Of which there are many. Be aware, as this can and does happen.
Christian Home School advocate and founder of the institute in basic life principals, Bill Gothard, was thought by one such female victim, to have done this very thing (www.xxxhisway.com - sex addicts making the news, "Bill Gothard - Emotional Rape of the Innocent" By Synthia Esther - as reported by recoveryingrace.org.) When we betray loved ones, and those who are friends, or even acquaintances, we betray ourselves. As we will always reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7).
ADDICTED TO FANTASY? WHAT YOUR SEXUAL LUST ADDICTIONS AND TEMPTATIONS REVEAL ABOUT YOU?
WHAT YOUR SECRET SINS REVEAL
By Synthia Esther
Your fantasy sex, romance, and love addictions often reveal a lot about you. Living behind the mask of your addiction becomes a way to cope with pain, shame, rejection, abandonment, lack of love, abuse, crisis, stress, and/or anxiety. According to psychiatrist Scott Peck, author of the book, "The Road Less Traveled", a compulsive pursuit of sex and fantasy, is in reality a search for spirituality. To heal sexually and emotionally, is to heal spiritually. I have the answer to your sexual bondage and obsessive compulsive obsessions. In fact, I have the answer to all your problems in life.
The answer is a simple one formulated through out the Bible, "Fear of God." Yes, you read it right. If you "feared God" you would know that you and your family are put in spiritual blight when you break God's ordained, and good, Holy plan for your life. Your sexual lusts, temptations, acting out, are not God's will for your life. "Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep My commandments, that it might go well with them and with their children forever!" - Deuteronomy 5:29.
"The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, to turn one away from the snares of death." - Proverbs 14:27.
These are not isolated scripture references. Moses proclaimed that fearing God within the heart provides strength to walk free from sin (Exod. 20:20). Solomon proclaimed, "By the fear of the Lord one departs from evil." - Proverbs 16:6.
So likewise in Luke 12:4-5 we read, "And I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after he has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, Fear Him!" When one fears God's spiritual authority they know, "...there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known." - Luke 12:2.
Sins course of evil will always bring truth to light, one always reaps what one sows. What does God have to say about this self serving, lust, sin betrayal and behavior?
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you." - (James 4:7-8)
"In this same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace." - (Romans 6:11-14).
"Then He said to them all; 'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" - (Luke 9:23)
* If you would like to learn more about God's plan of salvation (John 3:16-17), please visit our website page: "A Free Gift!"
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
HOW DOES WANTING TO HAVE SEX BECOME AN ADDICTION?
Sex addiction is not about having sex. The underlying psychological issues concerning sex addiction are much more complex. Power, control, abandonment, abuse, neglect, narcissism, among other personality dynamics and disorders, can all play a part in the psyche of an addict. ,P. "Sex addiction is an external response to an internal need." - Synthia Esther
SYNTHIA ESTHER, YOU MENTION SEX ADDICTS OFTEN HAVE OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE TENDENCIES, PLEASE EXPLAIN?
A sex addict lives a life consumed with having sex. The addict's wife/husband, significant other, children, family, job, security, love, relationships, morals, convictions, character, integrity, and even health is secondary to thinking about sex, getting sex and having sex.
Sex is idealized and idolized. The sex addicts active addiction and rituals most often become obsessive-compulsive (OCD )in nature. What was once considered sexually repulsive becomes lustfully desired in the escalation process. Since the advent and anonymity of the World Wide Web, pedophilia (child and adolescent sex), bestiality (sex with animals), Dominance and submission, torture sex, as well as other deviant sexual behavior has increased.
DOESN'T THE ADDICT KNOW THEIR ACTING OUT, OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR IS HURTFUL AND HARMFUL TO THEMSELVES AND OTHERS?
An active addict remains in denial, having seared his/her conscious. The sex addict acts out in order to feel better and eliminate shame, upon completion of the deed, they feel the dreadful pain of remorse, shame and self hatred, which triggers their desire to act out. This simplistic yet insane double mindset sexual cycling process is the addict's attempt towards self regulation and preservation of his/her addiction.
Synthia Esther explains the sexual addiction process...
"Sex Addiction becomes an ideological, illogical, fantasy of illusion and denial in the self preservation of ego. An inflated feeling of pride and superiority is pervasive within the mind of an addict, as lust and desire becomes all encompassing, consuming and self-destructive. *Pride comes before an addicts fall." - Synthia Esther .
* "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." - Proverbs 11:2.
"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud." - Proverbs 16:18-19.
HOW DOES A SEX ADDICT STOP THE CYCLE OF ACTING OUT?
The first step towards recovery is to admit you have an addiction. You can't change what you don't acknowledge. Sex addiction begins and ends within the mind. To change your mind you have to change your thought process. When the thought to act out sexually occurs you have a matter of seconds to redirect your thoughts.
Self introspection is helped through journaling, therapy, and an acknowledged program of self introspection to gain insight, knowledge and understanding, making healing probable and remission possible.
Jesus Christ is the Bondage Breaker!
Copyright- 2012-2022 - Synthia Esther. All Rights Reserved.